Having No Dad Affects Black Boys' Self-Esteem. Life with father translates to stronger kids

Julia McNamee Neenan
HealthScout Reporter

(HealthScout) -- Living in a fatherless family damages a black boy's self-esteem, says an American study released recently.

"In the black community, there's a slogan, 'Black mothers raise their daughters and love their sons,' " says one of the study's authors, Carolyn B Murray, an associate professor at the University of California, Riverside. "It's the father who holds that boy accountable. He has that boy toe the line; he holds the rules and responsibilities."

But when fathers aren't present in black families, regardless of such things as family income and education, young boys' self-esteem drops, the study says. That doesn't appear to happen with young girls in these families, it says. What this means for the boys, experts say, can range from their having problems in school to participating in gangs as part of their search for male role models. It's a "real crisis," Murray says.

Just 25 per cent of black children were raised in homes in which only the mother was present in 1960, she says, but that number had climbed to 54 per cent by 1993. In addition, she says, 78 per cent of all black families were headed by married couples in 1950, down to 34 per cent by 1996.

The children's scores on the study's tests reflect these statistics.

Measuring general self-esteem, for instance, boys from families headed by married couples scored higher than boys from families headed solely by a mother, the researchers say. Girls scored similarly, but with much less difference between the two groups.

Scores on specific self-esteem issues paint an even darker picture, Murray says, citing the question of how a boy sees his body, or how macho he feels. Boys coming from families with a father scored higher -- meaning they felt stronger, more competitive -- than did boys from families without fathers, the study says.

The findings, based on a study of 116 African-American 15-year-olds from Southern California, appeared in the September issue of the Journal of Family Psychology.

The dangers this poses for young black boys can be serious, Murray says, though she cautions that it's important not to generalize.

"They're at risk for joining gangs because they're looking for a male influence, for direction, for a male model," she says. "And they're also at risk for not doing as well at school."

The absence of a father seems to lead to lower self-esteem because fathers expect more from their sons than mothers do, Murray says. Where a mother might expect a daughter to do homework, get dinner prepared and clean the house after school, she says, the mother might expect little from a son.

And expectations that are met yield higher self-esteem, she says. "Mothers hold girls accountable; fathers hold boys accountable," Murray says. "Two parents are better than one."

George Garrow, executive director of the National Organization of Concerned Black Men, says boys growing up in fatherless families seem to do well until the age of 9 or 10, when they begin to need focus. Lacking a father's influence, he says, they begin to seek male role models elsewhere.

"Then they find their role model experience from other young boys, who are equally clueless," Garrow says.

If the father role is never filled, he says, the boys may join gangs or find unhealthy mentors. "The young man is going to play out what he thinks this image is, to be a man," Garrow says.

In the end, he says, it's not just the self-esteem that's damaged by the absence of a father. "It impacts the psychological, social and emotional development of young boys," Garrow says.

The California study shows family income playing a small part in boys' self-esteem, as does how the family is organized. Boys probably feel more responsible for a family's income and how power is divided in the family, Murray speculates. How well a family actually functions, however, had a much greater effect on girls than boys, she says, probably because girls take responsibility for relationships.

Marriage counselling and jobs programs that would help black men remain at home could help the situation portrayed in the study, Murray says.

What To Do

Schoolboys' achievements can be raised by persuading them that they can overcome a street culture that is anti-achievement, British researchers say.

The culture - black-dominated but cutting across ethnic groups - means they feel they cannot be good at school and keep in with their peers, according to Tony Sewell, a lecturer in education at Leeds University, as reported by BBC News Online.

But pilot projects have shown it is possible to overcome this, he said. For general info about raising your child's self-esteem, including an array of links to other helpful Web sites, visit About.com. For an alternative view, take a look at this essay from the Centre for Equal Opportunity, which says action comes first, then self-esteem.

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